Starstone/by Veronica Merlin

I’ve always been struggling with gender roles, and mostly I grew up making sure to never wear a dress, to never cry when I fell and scraped my knees, and to not flinch when the ghetto boys pulled a knife on me. I moved on to the equestrian world and found some weird role there, competing in show jumping and later on, training dangerous horses. I have spent 15 years of my life, waking up every morning, knowing that one small mistake and today would be my last day.

Every stable I ever worked at, I divided the women instantly, between those who hated me and those who followed me. No matter how much I tried to keep a low profile, I always ended up being the one to fix the electric fence at 6 am in the middle of a blizzard, while almost unable to see because I had…

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Ville Valo – Olet Mun Kaikuluotain

Anni´s song by John Denver, is one of my personal favorite songs, I use to sing it, when I was younger. This interpretation with Ville Valo in Finnish, is beautiful and slow. I have come across a few, in the last days, some not so, I don´t even know what to said. I have to point out the one with Freeman, made 40 years ago. Musically and in tempo, it is much closer to the original Anni´s song.
The version with Ville Valo, I really like, even though I don´t understand a word, one can argue, I know the original, some are always lost or won in translation, depending on how you view it.
The video is simple, beautifully calm, that fits the down tempo version of the song.



After what I think was a long pause, I have committed a poem.

Soft forest floor in fall
follow you home
moonlight sonata
on white sheets
I offered you my hand
my heart, my wings
in silence
it is not your touch
That makes my skin shiver
late at night
it is your voice
singing the light away
soon we dance
out of life, Love
All that was
goes away in the end
I admire your silence
Baby, don´t worry
You will
Shine like a star

A Short Romance

I have been using most of the day on writing and editing, looking through all my previous writing, and came across this story. I can´t remember when I wrote it, but here it is.
Later i will edit it again.

They walked up to her door, he had his arm around her, afraid she would get away. She looked at him out of the eye corner, wondering if he were for real.

“Soo, do you want coffee or something?” She asked.

“Coffee sounds good,” He said, “but what it that something?”

She went into the kitchen, starting to make the coffee; he sneaked up behind her, put his arms around her, and kissed her softly on her neck. She turned to him saying, “It can never be like that, you are, you know what I mean.”

”Do you like me?” he asked.

“I like what I have seen so far.” She answered.

“I really like you.” He said.

“But you don´t know me.” She said.

“I want to get to know you,” he said. “But I don´t have much time.”

They sat down on her couch, talking about everything and nothing at all. He told her about his home and family. She told him about her life. He fell asleep; she covered him tenderly with a blanket and went to bed.


She woke up, he were sitting on her bed, calling her name softly. “Good morning sleeping beauty” he said. “I have made coffee for you.”

They spent the next days, talking, she showed him the city. They slept in each other’s arms, wishing it could last forever, but he would have to go home soon.

The last night he said to her, as they lay in her bed. “You know I have to go home tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I know,” she said with a tear in her eye.

“I have falling for you,” he said.

“I know,” she said.

He lend in to kiss her, and for the first time she let him. His hand found hers breast, and she just let him touch her. Their bodies meet, in the eternal dance of love, slowly moving, as they made love. She fell asleep with her head on his chest and a smile on her lips.


A couple of month later, she felt sick, she went to the doctor. She had become pregnant.

At home she lay in her bed thinking of him, missing him; she had not heard a word from him. In her sleep the words he said echoed in her dreams. Will you wait for me forever after? I want to get to know you. I am falling for you. You are my soul mate. I want you. She felt his every touch, saw their shadows on the wall, his clothes on her floor.

It Breaks

I have a few songs, I always listen to, that just breaks my heart every time. I don´t think it is bad, I kind of like the pain. I kind of hate happy, happy music. The music I listen to have to make me feel something.

Et Hav af Udstrakte Hænder by Søren Huss, is a very beautiful Danish song.


Ung for evigt by L.O.C. I really don´t know what it is about that song, but I seem to get stuck with it for long periods of time, and not listening to anything but that one.


Acoustic Funeral (For Love In) by HIM, is just beautiful, it is one of the most beautiful songs ever written, in my opinion. It makes me think of Poe´s poem “A dream within a dream”.



When speaking of HIM, I just can´t leave “Join Me” out, it was the first song I heard by them, and it may not the best they have made, but the song means the world to me.

A very short story

She was sneaking along the walls of the tower, always in the shadows, never seen. Thinking back to a certain night, she was wearing a white dress, he were wearing a suit and a top hat. Together they drifted slowly over the floor, to the slow tones of a long forgotten melody.

Everything that should have been, would have been, never was. They danced on and on. He had his arms around her, she leant towards him. Her white dress became covered in blood. His or hers she never knew.

The saddest tears found their way down her chin. She pushed against the wall, waiting for him to be there, he never came.

Her soul lingers on, waiting for eternity, with the knife of the deepest betrayal sticking out of her back.

Defining Veronica

I had a great time.

Starstone/by Veronica Merlin

My friend and fellow author Noel Heart came by the other day. We have been besties for years now, since we met on face book through some HIM related fan page and realized that we are both insane and that we both live in Denmark.


Even though Denmark is a small country, we do live quite some distance away from each other and its actually been 4 years since we’ve met last, face to face. Time flies by so fast. We talk a lot, online, and on the phone, when I pick up. I still have a rather forced relationship with phone calls, but luckily, Noel just keep calling until I get over myself… I love my phone, I am never anywhere without it, (and I am totally getting a new one once PokémonGo gets to Europe, nothing ever works on windows phones,) but actually talking to people does require…

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